Women, Cats and Revenge.

I am thinking revenge is completely natural, which is why women, especially women, like cats.
I'll explain in a minute, but first let's fess up to our darker urges to retaliate. I have had many a dark thought in the revenge department. Most, if not nearly all, I have stifled and instead practiced the art of letting go, and letting go of wrongs done to you has to be an art form because it truly is a 'bitch' (bad dog pun here) to 'master'.

I once had a male friend tell untruths about me to a very close female friend of mine. My female friend and I sat dumbfounded over coffee in a restaurant as to why he would say such things. We drank more coffee and mulled over the options. Confront him, ignore him, repay the nasty talk favor and so on.. after numerous pots of coffee and fueling the fires of revenge we made our pact of vengeance. How sweet it is, even sweeter served cold?... well yes!

We procured a bottle of honey, that's the sweet part, next we went to his house about an hour before he had to leave for work, his car sitting in the drive as we had hoped. This next part is priceless, the served cold part, 35 degrees outside and one bottle of honey over the windshield.

Let me tell you, it was the so cathartic. No damage to the vehicle and a ton of work for him. He wasn't late for work but he did have to spend a lot of time to completely remove the nearly frozen honey from his windshield.

He later told me he knew it was us. Of course you did I told him, because you knew exactly who you had wronged.

So onto cats, women and revenge.

Cat had managed to swipe his tail across a plate full of syrup, this happened because he believes everything is for him and would not get off the table. (We are working on this) He then begins to whip his syrup covered tail around like Zoro. Now we have syrup on his sides, back and tail. I let him attempt to clean himself off and he discovers he doesn't like syrup, so I now have to bathe the beast. Have you ever had to bathe a cat?! They need to put a clause in life insurance policies to cover "death by cat bathing". You know it's true if you have attempted this.

After about twenty torturous minutes of yowling and claws of the demon we are finished. I dry him off and let him skulk away to pout.

I go about the rest of my day and night without seeing Cat, figuring he is still extremely ticked off with me and will show up when he's hungry.

Bedtime: I turn off the lights, lock the doors, brush my teeth,put jammies on and go to my room to climb into bed. I turn on the bed side light and there in the middle of my "dry clean only" comforter is a little gift from Cat. Hairball? Nope. A fragrant pile of cat poo.

Cat hid for two more days, but that was the only revenge he took. After spending sixty dollars to dry clean my comforter from his little retaliation, I'm thinking cat treats are just not in the budget this month. Revenge is natural, right?